


The Random Adventures of Rev Antilles

by Eleai



Category: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Genre: Crack Fic, Gen, Language, Not Serious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-10
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2017-11-25 01:58:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/633885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eleai/pseuds/Eleai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Rev Antilles saves the galaxy, more or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Memory Loss

**Author's Note:**

> A cracked timeline KOTOR walkthrough. Of a sort. (Or a series of crackish vignettes, based on scenes in KOTOR, because why not really.)   
> The timeline may not be perfect. I tend to jump around.

“They say the force can do terrible things to a mind.”  His voice is low and serious, eyes dark and intense.  ”It can wipe away your memories, and destroy your very identity.”  The last part is a whisper, lost in the darkness of the room. 

“Huh,” she says idly (too loud), scratching at the scar running the length of her scalp, “that’s weird.  I can’t remember anything past last Tuesday.” 


	2. Naming Things

“Easy,” he tells her when she tries to sit up, “You hit your head when we crashed. Can you tell me your name?”

“Yeah,” she says and her tongue feels like lead, “It’s Rev. Rev Antilles.”


	3. Bunkmates

“Who the fuck are you?”

He looks concerned, but not, she suspects, because she can’t remember him. Probably because she said fuck. 

“Trask. Ulgo. Your bunkmate. Sometimes. We work different times. Shifts, I mean. You know.”

“Right.” He talks really loud. ”Nice shirt.”

That earns her a grin. ”It’s red,” he informs her, “my favorite color.”


	4. Efficiency and Expediency

She picks the lock on the third room, and puts a single shot through the forehead of the green Twilek before the door is even fully open.  

Carth looks scandalized.  

“Why did you  _do_ that?” he asks, and she swears he’s close to tears. 

“Because,” she states, stepping over the glistening body and moving towards the white container at the foot of the bed (she’s not even sure why they lock these things—it’s not like medpacs or hair triggers are all that expensive), “I'm feeling cranky and I don't want to have to talk to anyone.  And anyway, he’s an alien hiding in an apartment on Taris.  Dollars to donuts he’s got some kind of bounty on his head.”

Carth looks concerned.  ”You uh, you’re glowing,” he says, sounding progressively more alarmed.  

“Karma,” she tells him, clouds of red slowly dissipating, “is always a bitch.”


	5. Explosives

“You just sell Permacrete detonators?”

Kebla Yurt grins and nods happily, ponytail bobbing.  ”Sure do sugar.”

“You often feel the need to…detonate permacrete?”

Yurt is still grinning, and if she’s being honest, it’s starting to get creepy.  ”Not me.  But you never know when it might come in handy.”

“Like if you had a bunch of permacrete you had to detonate quickly.”

“Hey, Rev,” Carth says, voice anxious, “maybe we should just buy it and go.  What if someone sees us and,” his voice drops to a whisper that is just a touch too loud, “suspects?”

“Yeah okay,” she says, “I’ll take the permacrete detonator.  ’Cause I gotta go…detonate…some permacrete.” 

“I thought,” Carth says still caught on the edge of whisper (and now he sounds confused), “that we were faking that guy’s death so we could get paid for killing him, but we don’t actually want to kill him since that would be wrong.”

“Yes Carth,” she says slowly, without turning around, “but I’d rather everyone not know our business.”  

“Oh,” he says, “right.”  

He’s lucky he’s cute, she decides, or he’d be a pile of detonated permacrete right next to Matrik.

“Hey,” Carth asks on their way out the door, “you think you might glow blue this time?”


	6. Utility Belts and Credit Chips

The most pressing question, she decides as she and Trask work their way through the Endar Spire, is why the fuck there are so many utility belts and pack lying around on the floor. She doesn't know where they came from, or why there are so many. (Or why there are so few bodies, but she suspects she'd have to be far drunker than she currently is to tackle _this_ particular mystery.)

In the end, she decides not ask. She just takes everything she finds—she has the feeling she’ll need the credits later on.


	7. Trust Issues

She’s running full tilt towards the elevators (she runs everywhere lately—Taris is so fucking _big_ and everything is all spread out, and it takes so fucking long to get from one place to another on this godforsaken planet—if she were a Jedi she’d use forcespeed or some shit, but then if she were a Jedi they’d already have Bastila and they wouldn't _be on_ this shithole so…) when it occurs to her that Carth isn’t behind her.  She grinds to a halt just outside the elevator doors and turns. 

Carth is some ten paces back, unmoving except for the two locks of hair that dangle over his forehead, and he looks…confused.  Or possibly ill, but she suspects he’s thinking.  Probably. 

“What’s on your mind?” She winces after it comes out, because it sounds weirdly polite and formal but she figures “what the fuck are you doing” sounds just _slightly_ too rude.

Carth, as it happens, has trust issues.  And he’s tetchy about it.  Plus, he sucks at nicknames.  On the positive side, he's easily flustered and fits well in stolen Sith uniform, so, there's that.  Plus he's nice to look at.  She'll keep him around for now. 


End file.
